Note: I know I recently did a post about change but this one is a little different… I hope.
I was going to write my first post at home about the first term, as a reflection on it, I suppose, but that is not going to happen. I have not had a chance to properly reflect on it yet since I have only been home a day but in this day I have noticed that things feel like they have changed. There are lots of small changes around the house, most of which I have found now and most of which are very minor things but it is still change. It is that strange feeling when you have been in a house for so long and you have noticed every little thing and then you go away and suddenly everything is changing and you don’t know if it is for the better. Whilst the changes around the house are trivial in nature, it did get me thinking about how things have changed since I left college and started at university.
As I have said before, the real changes in myself have been in this last term. In my first year of university I think I was still clinging on to Brighton and everything I had experienced in college. This year I have really started to throw myself into university and whilst it is stressful as heck, it has also shown me that I love where my life is going, I love the people I have encountered and I love Nottingham. I have only been back a day and I haven’t actually done anything in Brighton but I feel out of place. It is very strange to feel out of place in the area you grew up in. I have only been in Nottingham for term time for a year and a bit but it is starting to feel more like my home now. I know where to eat, I know where to drink, I know where to do anything in Nottingham and everything is within walking distance… And I mean everything, For such a large city, it is strangely compact. Anyway, back to my point (I promise I have one). When I think about Brighton, I realise I have absolutely no idea where the best places to eat are and with many of my friends here having not experienced fully what uni has to offer, I feel very much like the way I socialise with my friends at uni is not the way I will socialise with my friends here and I feel a bit at loss. Of course I still want to be friends with them all, and I would be upset to lose many of them but there is definitely a sense of change when I think about spending time with them all. It is not the same for all friends, there are a few who I think things will just be the same as ever with. This is just me thinking about it. I haven’t actually interacted with anybody but my guardians and the cashier at the co-op since I returned.
I don’t think me feeling like my life is taking me on a different path away from Brighton is a bad thing and perhaps I am actually over-thinking things but to me, if nobody else, this is an interesting thought. I would be lying if I said it didn’t scare me a little that I am almost 100% sure that when I leave university, I won’t come back to Brighton. While I love it, I think Nottingham is better for me at the moment. Brighton is an absolute pig to travel around. The buses are expensive, slow and often late and in the summer, tourists and exchange students cover the whole pavement and in trying to walk around them you often risk certain death by walking into the path of an oncoming bus… One which is probably 20 minutes behind schedule.
Best moment of the day so far: eating a banana and nutella sandwich with instant tea. I am not talking about instant tea as in that weird powdery stuff which tastes kind of gross; I am talking about tea… That was made almost instantly. The house now has no need for a kettle. Constant boiling water tap. It is wonderful! I can have tea whenever I want and it will always take me less than 30 seconds to make. No more pesky waiting for that one cup kettle to boil.
On that note, I am going to stop writing for fear of waffling. To anybody reading this, I ask this question:
Has there ever been a point in your life that you looked at your life and realised things were changing?