Adventures in London!

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I finally had my interview today after what feels like a heck of a long time waiting and preparing for it. Today seemed like as good a day as any to write almost a diary style entry for my blog. I would have started it this morning and updated it through the day, but I wasn’t sure how often I would be able to connect to the internet. As it turns out, I was only connected to it for about an hour before my interview. I have been jotting things down throughout the day though so I can just write it all at once. Behold, dear readers, my adventure in London: (warning: may not be anywhere near as interesting or amusing as an actual adventure. I work with what I am given.)

07:45- I hate mornings. So very much. It should be illegal to have to be up this early.

08:30- Okay, it’s maybe time to actually get up now. My alarm went off about 40 minutes ago and I really need to think about getting ready for the day.

09:00- *I spent about 20 minutes prancing about my room in my underwear in a semi-awake state as I realised trying to apply my makeup with my new smart clothes on was a bad idea. It was only when I realised how late it was getting that I actually got dressed and then spent about 15 minutes trying to work out what I had forgotten. I still have no idea.*

09:45- *And then we were on our way. We left the house extremely early just in case there were delays of any sort. Of course… There weren’t. We ended up being really early and had to stand on the station in the cold for ages despite the fact the train was just sat there taunting us with warmth.*

10:38 onwards- *Our train left Nottingham at 10:38 and of course with me being with Hanna in the train, things were bound to turn weird. I think it took less than an hour for something odd to be said. I am surprised it took that long honestly.*
*As we were approaching East Midlands Parkway, we were approaching what I always call a power station but all I know is there are giant cooling towers. Anyway, of course we couldn’t just have a normal person conversation about these cooling towers. Oh no. I think we started off just talking about how they could be seen from extremely far away and how they really don’t look nice. Hanna has just got some wonderful suggestions about improving the landscape…*

Hanna: “You know what would make them better? Paint them rainbow colours.”
Me: *imagining the rainbow stripes* “Oh god no. That would be even worse.”
Hanna: “How many of them are there?” *We tried and failed to work out how many there are but we thought there were six* “Oh, one short. Red and yellow… A colour each.”
Me: “Oh, because lime green would make it so much better.”
Hanna: “Who said lime green?”
Me: “Snot green? … Neon?”
Hanna: “That would be amazing.” *Horrible mental image of neon rainbow cooling towers.*
Me: “Yeah… Amazing… Okay Hanna…”

*Anyway. A bit later (or it might have been a bit before. The train journey was long and it was a long day. Sue me.. Well, we were going past a field of sheep… Isn’t that just the most exciting thing you have ever heard? Sheep! I know! I think my hearing problems are getting worse…*

*As we passed the field of sheep*
Hanna: “Sheep!”
Me: *I honestly thought she had said chickens so I turned to her looking extremely confused* “Chickens? No.. No Hanna…. That’s not right.”
Hanna: “How the hell did you get chicken from that?”

12:15- *After the rest of a largely uneventful train journey (aside from Hanna’s weird autocorrect phone), we arrived in London and joined the many other suits of the capital city. I think it is the first time I have been in London in a suit and I have to say… I like it. Walking in the station gave Hanna some sense of purpose which stopped her making the terrified noises she had occasionally been making in the train. Unfortunately for me, purposeful Hanna walks very quickly and with her already having much longer legs than me and being in flats, she kept on racing off, leaving me to try to catch up in my devil shoes. At this point in the day, my nerves still hadn’t really caught up with me. Since I found out about the interview, there has been a sense of strange excitement but only a few stabs of nerves. They really hit a bit later in the day…*

12:45 or there about- *Getting an early train meant that there was no chance either of us would be late for our interview but unfortunately, within about half an hour of leaving St Pancras, we had found the law firm, worked out how long it would take us to walk back from a coffee shop and we had settled down in Caffe Nero for a very long wait. My brain made a good call in not allowing me to order a hot chocolate but unfortunately it did not stop me buying anything at all and by about 1 o’clock, I regretted buying a fruit drink and a chocolate brownie. In all fairness, it probably wasn’t the nerves making me feel sick; I am not sure mango and passionfruit and chocolate brownies lend themselves well to being consumed together. In a very typically British fashion, the weather could not really decide what to do with itself today. Thankfully, it didn’t rain at all, but that didn’t mean the weather wasn’t frustrating as hell. One moment there was blinding sunshine and the next it was windy as heck and absolutely freezing. I would just finish putting my coat on from an arctic blast, only to have the sun come out almost perfectly timed for maximum frustration.*

14:00- *Hanna had already left me about 30 minutes before to go to her interview and I was just trying to work out how to pronounce the interviewer’s name when I decided there was no point in waiting any more. It was only in that half an hour after Hanna left that the nerves really struck me. I felt so so ill. It was awful. Once I got to the firm, it was fine. One of the clients even wished me good luck. I think she felt sorry for me. I am certain I was a sickly shade of green. Talking about getting to the firm now… You are probably thinking I managed to walk for 5 minutes without anything going wrong… You would be wrong. So very wrong. Unfortunately. about 10 seconds after I walked out of Caffe Nero… I managed to fall down a flight of stairs. It wasn’t even a proper flight of stairs, it was maybe three which weren’t even that steep. It wasn’t even graceful tripping or a proper fall. It was that strange kind of slow motion falling that extremely drunk people do. It didn’t hurt at all but my legs were flying all over the place. One woman looked at me like I was insane because I had done it intentionally. She looked like she wasn’t sure whether she should be concerned or report me to the local authorities for escaping from some home for weird children like me. She did ask me if I was okay. I told her I was, promptly apologised for no apparent reason and then started walking… In the wrong direction. How I made it to that interview in one piece and still about 20 minutes early is a mystery to me.*

14:30 to 15:00- THE INTERVIEW! *insert dramatic music here* It went okay. I think. I will know next week.

Almost 16:00- *Post-interview exploration of London. We were on the underground not really sure where we were actually planning on going. While we knew we would have a day in London, we hadn’t really given much thought to how we were going to spend the 5 hours after the interview. We ended up going in a massive circle in the underground but before we got to Oxford Circus, of course I had to have another random moment of selective hearing*

Announcer on the train. That mechanical woman they keep in a box: “This train stops at Morden.”
Me: *suddenly extremely alert having been daydreaming for about 2 minutes* “This train stops at Mordor?!? What?”

I got some weird looks. I mean.. More than I normally get when I open my mouth.

Between about 16.30 and 18:00- *I was really starting to feel the pain in my feet now. I was feeling the pain of my rather idiotic decision to wear heels around London for the day. I spent around 20 minutes hobbling around, whining about my feet until we found my salvation: New Look. For some reason, before I left today, I had decided it would be a really good idea to pack my New Look gift card from christmas, just in case. Thank god I did. I think I only spend £2.99 on a pair of new boots. It was like walking on happiness after the devil shoes. I went from having an extremely co-ordinated outfit to suddenly having boots that looked a little bit weird with the smart clothes. It only got worse from there. I spent the latter part of the day after going into Accessorize walking around with a fluffy-eared hat on my head. I am always complaining that hats don’t suit me and I have finally found one. It does make me look like a crazy child, but I only need to open my mouth to verify that fact. It does give me a fuzzy shadow. It amuses me. I was going to buy fuzzy ear muffs which suited me too but after realising how easily amused I am by the word muff, I couldn’t bring myself to purchase an item of clothing that requires me to say it every day. Plus… I am glad I got the hat now… It’s cooler. Like a hungry child, I insisted on a snack stop before I purchased my fluffy hat and like the classy potential lawyers we are… We had chips in McDonalds. Living it up, I know. Apparently my stomach forgot that we had had the chips because about half an hour later, I was bugging Hanna for dinner.*

Dinner, 18:30 until some point- *We went to Pizza Hut. Living it up again. I tried to take my hat off at dinner. Hanna got upset. Had to wear it for the whole time. We had a ninja waiter. He had appeared with another drink before I even realised he had noticed it was empty. Best service ever. He did keep giving us creepy thumbs up though… Apparently I am not the only one who suffers from hearing problems:

Me: “I could do the pom pom poodle dance.” *swinging the fluffy balls (shhhhh.. not funny) on the end of the hat around*
Hanna: “
The Hong Kong poodle dance?”

*I still have no idea what the Hong Kong poodle dance is. Sounds like fun though.*

Some point.. Lost track of time… Long day was long- *We still had a bit of time to kill and after getting off the underground, I could see the sign to King’s Cross and the one to St Pancras pointing in different directions. (They are like 2 minutes apart though.) We had a massive nerdy moment about Harry Potter before I dragged Hanna up to King’s Cross to try to find Platform 9 3/4. We found it. We both have goofy pictures from it. Hanna was complaining about her smile in it and I promptly pointed out the fact I have a fuzzy ear hat on in my picture and my coat was open and covering everything so my body looks weirdly out of proportion. Fun times. Shame I forgot my camera and had to take pictures on my iPod.*

Some point. My filofax says I said it was 21:35- *The train had made what I can only describe as the sound of death.*

Me: “That was not a reassuring sound. That was the sound of death… You are thinking about dying now, aren’t you?”
Hanna: “I don’t want to die.”
Me: “We are all going to die on this train. This is so not how I wanted to go… I wanted to go out in a blaze of fire and gummy bears..”

Hanna insisted I put that as my facebook status but since I had no access to the internet then, I promised her I would put it in this post. The train journey back was ridiculously funny. A combination of sugar, tiredness and hyperness meant that I was giggling and being a bit crazy. It’s fine though.. A middle aged couple across the aisle were giggling as much as us. It was odd. Since this post is getting ridiculously long, I will just start to wrap it up now. Finger piano…

Me: “Finger piano…” *sniggers* *Cue weird look from Hanna and sad fluffy eared look from me* “Fine. I am going to go play something that doesn’t have finger in the title.” *Cue about 5 minutes of uncontrollable hysterics from both of us.*

Today has been one heck of a long day.. Here are my nuggets of wisdom for the day:

  • Don’t wear heels in London unless you have feet of steel.
  • Don’t trip down stairs outside coffee shops
  • Don’t challenge extremely tired friends to games of ‘bogeys’ on the train. It probably won’t end well.
  • People in London are weird. Some of them really appreciate a kind gesture (take the woman in the coffee shop I helped), but others seem to despise any kind of social interaction at all (take the girl in the coffee shop who looked like she wanted to punch me in the face for asking for the bathroom key.)
  • Fluffy hats make everything better.
  • Some adverts in the underground are terrifying.

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