Monopoly rage, dinosaurs and serial killers.


Last week felt like one of the longest weeks. It may have had something to do with the fact I actually left the house outside of work time, and traveled down to Nottingham… Twice. It may also have something to do with an accumulation of far too little sleep over the course of many weeks. I like to think that this exhaustion that is still lingering is a sign that I should hole myself up with enough snacks to tide me over until it fades.

I have used one half day of the ten days of holiday I have to last me until June and it was for something entirely related to my WHOLE FUTURE. So no pressure. I went in to the law fair fairly certain of what I want to be when I grow up… And I left with no clue. I just seem to be at that point where I need to start making choices about which area of law I want to go into and I feel entirely unequipped to decide on one path. It makes me tense. Especially because in law, you can’t just make a choice and then just start… Deadlines for things can be anywhere up to 18 months before you actually ever start a course, so you just need to know. And therein lies my eternal problem.

On slightly less depressing topics, I went down to Nottingham for the second time last week over the weekend for a friend’s (very very late) birthday celebrations. We will just ignore the fact it was about 20 days after her actual birthday and we will also ignore the fact she forgot that we were going to celebrate her birthday and just pretend it was all as it should be… Things in Nottingham were fine if you choose to ignore the potentially friendship ruining games of monopoly, the chance I may have encountered two future serial killers within the space of 25 minutes and the fact that I am so much in work mode now that I have no clothes that aren’t pyjamas or work outfits. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that my entire out of work wardrobe consists of pyjamas and a few pairs of jeans on the off chance I eventually venture out for food. Nope. No problem with that.

Let’s talk about serial killers though. And I would like to point out that is rarely a phrase I use, though work has been slightly worrying with the description of work for one company coming up as: Saw doctor. Right. Let’s not even go there. Anyway, serial killers. The first potential serial killer I encountered on Friday was actually on the train. I thought he worked for the train at one point when he sat down in the row in front of me, having obsessively cleaned the table beforehand. But no, he just wanted it clean  before he sat down. That wasn’t what made me worried. No, what made me worried was that he kept catching my eye in the train window reflection…. And I am not talking in the sexy, ‘hi there’ kind of way, I am talking in the kind of way that made me distinctly nervous that he might actually murder me. Falling asleep on the train at that point was pretty much asking to be murdered, though I did thankfully make it after jolting back into alertness in time to see Lidl passing by, which oddly, was what made me realise I was just outside of Nottingham.

My life advice for the day… or week… Is: always know what your hosts like. When I phoned my hosts for the weekend on Friday to remind them that I was, in fact, going to be at their house in 2 hours, their response was less than loving, until I offered up: “Oh, I come bearing Jaffa Cakes and Doritos…” After that, they were so much lovelier to me. I see how it is. I did then proceed to entirely mess one of them up in Marvel Monopoly, going out of my way to buy things from every set he had purchased. My favourite moment was still: “I AM GOING TO BUY THE GREEN GOBLIN!” To which, after a long pause, my other friend responded: “No you aren’t… Charlotte already owns it.” I honestly thought I might get punched in the face. I was Intern Doom for the night. I haven’t got my doctorate yet, after all. I think I pushed someone the wrong way… “Doctorate Doom can suck my d— Hot Dog with his cold metal face.” Oh Monopoly… How you  bring people together.

I am slightly depressed with the turn my life has taken. I can never go back from this…. I now own a onesie. Having always promised myself I would not stoop to this level… I own one… It is a bright blue dinosaur onesie complete with tail. I couldn’t say no. I am just mildly heartbroken the shop didn’t have a fox one. Speaking of heartbreaking things, I feel  like work is trying to torture me. Once a month (up until now) we have had ‘dress down’ days for charity. Last Friday of every month. An email came around today, which was clearly supposed to be something enjoyable, but it nearly caused a mental breakdown in half the team. Dress down… Every Friday from next Friday. Well, bugger. You recall the problem I have with a lack of clothes…. And now I hit serious problems. Once a month, I can get away with rotating the same three outfits because it is so long between each rotation that nobody notices… It will only take about a month for people at work to realise that I wear the same few outfits every darn dress down. Fun fun fun…

Are pyjamas acceptable dress down attire….?

I think a dinosaur onesie will really instil some confidence in the firm… Sorted.

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